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My struggles due to laziness

What I have been busy doing nowadays.

Have you ever felt so empty for being so lazy and unproductive? That's actually how I feel these days. I have so many things to do but I decide to ignore all of them. Instead, I do entirely different things to distract me from things that I should be doing.

To give you an overview where I'm coming from, let's just say that in our organization, I am the head of one of the departments. Also, when I entered this organization, I was a fresh graduate who just recently passed the board exam. In other words, I had no work experience at all but I was already holding a very high position.
Until now, I still consider myself a lazy person. I hate to admit it but I am. I'm so lucky I was hired When I was interviewed for work, I actually told the interviewer that I was such a hard worker. And that I would choose work over personal matters. But I was telling a lie.


Sometimes I wonder how I can fight my laziness. I'm not entirely lazy because I do house chores. I have the initiative but never the muscle to move. I'm so sick of being lazy. I have so many things to do but I decide to ignore all of them.

Examples:

When at home, I think about work.

When at work, I think about home.

In the morning, I think about what I'll do in the evening.

In the evening, I think about what I'll do in the morning.

There are just so many things you miss out just because you decide not to work on it on the proper time if that were the case. I want to study law and I wonder if I can actually make it. I'd like to borrow books in order for me to read and improve my writing skills at the least. Watching television and reading books would actually help but I don't know.

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