Never in my mind have I thought that I was going to a psychiatrist. But I did. It was my last option. I already did several tests that produced thankfully normal results except for the Mitral Valve Prolapse diagnosis part. I was supposed to feel okay but I didn't. I was always light headed and nauseous. I always felt the same everyday for two months. I would wake up with cold hands and feet and vomit in the morning, when I eat, and when I brush my teeth. It was so exhausting. I decided to apply for a 30 days sick leave from work because I was not in my best condition. I felt so dizzy that all I could was to lie down. I didn't want to leave my bed. I lied down while I watched TV and still lied down when I ate. I thought I would be able to recover after having some rest but I didn't. I eventually had to request another 30 days sick leave because I did not have any improvement. I already thought of quitting my job because I felt so hopeless. My family was always there for me, supported me and understood me. I knew all of that and I was thankful but I still couldn't shake away my anxiety. I was mad at myself because I thought I had a very weak faith in God. I was so sorry to my family and to God because I couldn't shake my fears away. But then one day, I realized that that there is still hope. I realized that maybe I needed help. I realized that there was one thing I haven't done yet and it was to talk to a psychiatrist. I was hesitant to go to a psychiatrist because there is some kind of prejudice against those who seek advice from them. But I wanted to get better for my family so I did.
I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and the doctor told me to take medication for 14 days. I asked the doctor if it's okay not to take medicine because I thought that being able to talk to a psychiatrist would be enough. But he told me that I should because I was already having the symptoms for two months. And so I took the medicine for 14 days. During the first day that I took the medicine, I had chills. It was the side effect of the medicine. After 14 days of drinking, some symptoms like the light headedness and nausea had decreased but the feeling of nervousness was still not gone. I would still wake up with cold hands and feet and felt like vomiting. I had my follow up consultation and I was told to continue my medication for another 60 days. I was kind of disappointed because I thought the 14 days were enough but guess what, I had to continue for another 60 days. I was done drinking the medications for 60 days and haven't consulted the doctor. I thought I was already feeling alright. I thought I was already okay but on the 5th day of not taking the medication, I was having withdrawal symptoms from the medication. My head hurt so much and my body felt so heavy for about 6 days. And so I decided to consult my doctor again and he said that I was feeling that way because I stopped taking my medicine abruptly and I was supposed to take the medication for another 60 days. And so I still haven't fully recovered yet but I am hopeful that I will eventually be okay.
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